Today was one of those days where you just think too much. You think to much about the world. You mentally soliloquize about  everything that bothers you about the world. And you realize after a while just how disturbing life really is.Our world is a scary place. Right now the entire  world has bleak prospects. Basically the entire world is going into rescession, our country has absoloutly no money, we are facing world climate change and a whole slew of other wonderful things. Am I the only person who sort of feels the world crumbling down around them?

It is not just those big world issues that bug me. Little things about everyday life bug me, ranging from the friend that talked about getting piss drunk a few weekends ago or realizing just how much things have changed in my life. I may be a little nostalgic here but, damn I miss the innoscence of being a young kid. I miss not understanding all of the issues that plague the human race, be it dissease, war, or relationship issues. Things were much simpler when  the worst thing you had to worry about was if llittle Becca down the street could come out and have a race with you and your brother. I miss the stress free days. I didn't have to worry about how the hell I am going to pay for collge and get a decent paying job so I can  move away from this place that I hate. I miss the days when I needn't agonize aboutwhat I was going to study . I could just tell every one that " I either wan to be ummmmmm a doctor oorrrr a singer. Yeah I wanna siiing and danceeee!!!!" I miss being seven damnit. I moss having a carefree existence. I hate having to worry about keeping face with certain people. I wish others didn't feel the need to out up a facade around me. That is perhaps the thing that bothers me the most.

It bothers me the most because I kow the reasons why it happens. Everyone in the world want to be the same. We all want to blend in to one big homogenous mass. Human nature I guess is like that. I was going to blam this whole crazy ideal on the media, but then I remembered thatthings such as rascism and sexism went farther back than newspapers and television. If there is one question I would love whatever diety  exists to answer it would be why humans need to be the saame as one another.

I know I am perfectly content with being different. I am prooud to say that I don't listen to what everyone else listens to. I love reading, the smell of old books, folk music and everything from the sixties and early seventies. I would rather eat vegetables than gorge myself on Doritos and Mountian Dew. I now drink tea instead of coffee. I do not feel the need to attach my self to the first cute boy I meet and cling to him as if I am drowning. I read non-fiction. I would rather die at age 25 than at 105, knowing that I atleast would not have to watch those around me die. I like to spin because I feel that for once I am keeping up with the speed of change. I text and e-mail with proper grammar.

Now I know that I am not the only person in the world thatdoes these things or feels this way about something, but I am still differnt, still unique. I have no wish to be like any one else.

What I really mean to say is that I am sick and tired of watching m firends and family destroy theselves by trying to change things about themselves to siut other people. They thry to change themselves and others to all be the same, whether consiously or not. It is slowly tearing them apart and riuning thier relationships. It is hard to watch and even moore difficult to stop. It makes me want to rip my hair out in frustratioon while sobbing like a child. I saddens and disgusts me and I can't stop it from happening. it is like watching a car crash in slow motion.

I just wish that we culd all be ourselves and accept one another. Is that too much to ask?

BTW: Please excuse any poor grammar or typing errors. It is  @:30 in the morning and At this time I have limited motor skills.

Lately I have taken to obsessively watching the news. I am watching everything from CNBC to C-Span to follow the economy's ever downward spiral. I am reading anything that I can get my hands on about it and I still find my self puzzling over how we are ever going to get out of this. I will admit that like John McCain I'm no expert on any of this. I don't necessarily know what will or will not work to fix this problem, but I know that it has to be fixed, and quickly. If it isn't it is quite possible that America will never recover and will lose everything.

Part of my English homework tonight is to answer questions about this lovely sonnet. Question 2: What qualities make the speakers lover more lovely than a summer day.

My answer: Weeelll... she's not too hot, she's not too cold. shee's juuuuuuust right!

I have been reduced to explaining literature through Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Oh god....
All of this english Hw has been bad. the first question I had to answer was "How does the use of alliteration affect the tone of the poem" Okay a good question .... if there was any alliteration at all in the poem. Not one single repeating consonat sound. Not one! Ugh first that then the Goldilocks explanation..... English ruins everything.


One does has to admit, it is a rather apt description.